Withering
by MoonlitSky321
Summary: Was I—was I the cold and wind? Was I slowly killing Ran from the inside out that way? But I didn't want to be the cold. I didn't want to be the harsh wind.


_**Withering **_

It was cold.

That was the first thought that entered my head as my eyes slowly opened. My hand reached out and rubbed them from sleep, yawning as I did so. Looking up from under the blanket, I discovered the reason the room was so cold.

_Tck, occhan!_

He had left the window open and now, he was snoring his dreams away, his breathing heavy and his leg dangling from the bed. Sighing, I left the warmth of my futon to pad across the room and close the window. I hissed as my hand touched the cool metal of the frame, and I quickly pushed it shut.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I looked out into the wintry sky, watching with some sort of fascination as mist quickly fogged up the window's glass. I could almost smell the mist inside the room. I guess it would either snow or rain. I looked up at the sky—there were a few clouds scattered and the midnight carpet looked almost surreal with the one or two twinkling stars accessorizing it.

I turned around and headed towards the door. I needed some water. Closing the room's door gently behind me, I advanced towards the kitchen and stood on the chair to reach for the upper cupboard. This is one of the things that I hate most about my situation—normal things were not normal anymore.

My throat sang in relief as the semi-cool water washed through it, moistening its walls. Washing the cup quickly, I hopped down from the chair and made my way back to the room, getting ready to get back to my dreams.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard it, and before my mind could register the sound, my heart already knew what it was. It cracked.

She was crying again.

Changing the course of my feet, I headed towards the other door and gently eased it open. She was sitting at the familiar posture again. On the windowsill, head bent, hands twined in her lap, and hair being ruffled by the cold wind. Tear tracks covered her flushed cheeks and her eyes were dull and sad, looking up at the sky but not seeing it.

My heart seemed to crack a bit more.

Ran looked so tired, so fragile, so small. Her body seemed to be barely holding itself up. I know that she is a sensible person and that she was eating regularly and properly, but lately, I couldn't help but think that she wasn't eating at all.

She was pale, and her waist seemed to be thinner than usual.

She sniffled softly, and brought her hand up to wipe away the tears, shaking her head slowly. My heart swelled up with regret, hurt and longing. God, I am such an idiot! How could I? How could I cause her so much pain? So much anguish?

What was the point of protecting her when I was breaking her heart again and again? True, I was protecting her physically, but it was also me that was killing her emotionally and mentally.

And I have never hated myself more than I did at that moment.

As I watched, more tears cascaded down her smooth, soft cheeks, trailing down its curve and then curving just under her jaw and falling down on her hands. Small drops were already covering the back of her hand, and Ran looked down at them. She stared at them for a long minute, before she sighed and reached for her desk.

Taking a tissue, she wiped them away before she wiped the tears away again and stood up. She closed the window and headed to bed slowly, her body moving as if a heavy weight was looming over it. She got under the covers, sighed once, and closed her eyes. In a matter of minutes, she was asleep.

I stood there for what felt like eternity, but in reality, it was just a couple of minutes. My eyes lingered on her steadily breathing frame and I felt my eyes pricking with something unfamiliar. Hastily taking a deep breath and trying to steady my heartbeat, I gently closed the door and turned around.

I slipped into the other room noiselessly, got into my futon, and laid down, staring up at the ceiling.

And Ran would never know, never imagine, that I was so close that only a single wall separated us.

-.-

"Conan-kun!" Ayumi smiled, popping out of nowhere before me. "Come on! Everyone says they want to go to the park!"

I raised an eyebrow. "The park? It's snowing!"

"Exactly!" Mitsuhiko enthused. "We can play with snow and make snow angels and have a snow fight!"

"Let's go!" Genta pumped his fist in the air, leading the others outside Agasa's house. I looked over, seeing that Haibara was still sitting on the sofa, reading a book.

"Oi, Haibara, aren't you coming?"

"I'll pass." She answered, not looking up from the book. "You should go have fun, Kudo-kun. You wouldn't want to disappoint the kids, now, do you?"

My eyebrow twitching, I made my way out of the door and into the cold air.

_Great! I get kidnapped to go play around with the kids all day and she's inside in the warmth, reading. Tck, I hate my curiosity!_

Soft, gentle snowflakes twirled around us as we made our way to the park, dancing in the cold air. The kids were enjoying themselves immensely, shouting and laughing. I looked down at the ground. The snow still wasn't deep, but it was good enough to leave deep footprints on it.

I had to admit: the park looked beautiful in the falling snow. The fountain seemed to sparkle brilliantly and the white carpet was thick and seemed to be soft and inviting, even if it was cold. A lot of children, dressed in heavy clothing, were already having fun playing around.

The three kids didn't waste time in dragging me into a snow fight. As much as I hated to admit it, but being around those kids, having this snow fight was actually fun and lifted my spirits up slightly. Ayumi-chan and I teamed up against Genta and Mitsuhiko. And we beat them big time.

They complained about how unfair it was for me to calculate the distance and that Ayumi was really quick in making snowballs. We laughed all afternoon. And then, Ayumi-chan laid down and began moving her arms and legs rhythmically, creating a snow angel.

Genta and Mitsuhiko quickly joined her.

I laid down on the snow too, but went completely still. Instead, I allowed my mind to wander to my first childhood and how Ran and I used to come here and do just the same as I was doing now. She loved making snow angels too, I remember. I was always forced to do one too.

I smiled lightly, closing my eyes as the cold wind brushed against my cheeks.

For just a few minutes, I wanted to stop thinking. For just a few minutes, I wanted everything to fade. For just a few minutes, I wanted to be able to just lay there forever and never move, never face the world, never have to think about my situation, and never have to break hearts.

But, as it always had, my mind tended to get me back to reality fast. I opened my eyes slowly, and turned my head to the left, watching as the three kids chatted excitedly. I smiled softly at them, before turning my head to the right.

I paused, raised an eyebrow, and sat up on my elbows.

Laying on the ground just a few feet away, was a single wilted rose. Someone must have dropped it a few hours ago, because the rose was already dying slowly. I scooted over and reached out to take the rose in my fingers.

The stem was turning grey and it was cold. The upper part of the stem bent, and the rose bud faced downwards, the soft, red petals hanging lifelessly. Because of the snow, some drops of water cascaded down the petals smooth surface, curving at the end as they fell down on the hand resting on my lap.

I blinked and looked down at the small drop, watching as another three water drops accompanied it.

Suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

The stem was so fragile, so small, so thin.

_Ran looked so tired, so fragile, so small._

The rose's head bent down, the petals hanging lifelessly.

_Sitting on the windowsill, her head bent down, hands twisted in her lap, and hair ruffled by the wind._

Droplets of water ran down the smooth, soft petal landing down, down on my hand.

_More tears cascaded down her smooth, soft cheeks. Falling, falling into the back of her hand on her lap. She stared down at them, not seeing._

The rose was withering away.

_Her once sparkling eyes were withering. They are so dull, so sad, so lifeless._

I stayed there, crouched on the snow, looking at the rose as if I had never seen anything like it before. The rose was dying because of the cold and the harsh wind. Without a fence to protect it from the wind, it will not grow. Without the warm sun to chase away the cold, it will not bloom into a beauty.

It'll wilt away and die.

Was I—was I the cold and wind? Was I slowly killing Ran from the inside out that way? But I didn't want to be the cold. I didn't want to be the harsh wind.

I wanted to be the sun. I wanted to wrap her in my arms, in my fence, to keep her alive, and safe, and healthy. And beautiful, forever.

I did not want Ran to wither away.

Slowly, I laid the rose back down on the snow.

-.-

Mouri Ran slowly opened her eyes, blinking against the faint light penetrating through her window. She yawned softly, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She glanced at her clock, sighing in relief that she did not oversleep. She made to move out of bed, when she paused, looking down at her pillow in surprise.

A beautiful, red rose lay innocently against the white of her pillow. Around the stem, a red ribbon was tied and at the end of the ribbon, a note was attached. Slowly, delicately, Ran took hold of the stem.

She held the rose towards her face, gazing at how fresh it looked and sweet it smelled. A soft, true smile blossomed on her face for the first time in what felt like forever. Nuzzling the rose with her nose, she took hold of the card, her violet eyes shining with unshed tears as she read the simple, yet meaningful words.

_I'll come back. I promise._

She did not stop to think as to how the rose had gotten into her room. She did not stop to think about how he could have slipped it in. Her mind was too fuzzy and her heart was welling up with so many emotions that it actually hurt for some seconds to breath.

Finally, smiling, she whispered into the empty room, still gazing at the rose. "And I promise, I'll wait."

Beyond the door, a shadow shifted and the door closed with a small, noiseless click.

**_The End!_** :)

**_Note: _**_Wow, I was really depressed lately and I wanted to write. So, this is what it turned out to be! I actually like it, kind of. :D But, it doesn't matter if I like it. What does matter is that you like it! :) So review please, and tell me what you think. Your opinion matters the most._

_And again, I would like to thank all who read my Kaito/Aoko story: _Quiz Me_. You guys made my day! :D_

_Take care!_

_Till next time..._


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